Mac Maclean

Now I Can Get A Word In

My father was a pastor, a professor, an immigrant, and a deeply religious man absorbed by his work. He passed away suddenly in 2017 at age 61, before I was able to come out to him as trans and nonbinary, or heal the unresolved relationship from my youth.

Communicating with my father had never been easy, as he was a chronic interrupter and deaf in one ear. Five years after his death, I approach my father’s refusal to communicate his health problems, his upbringing in Apartheid South Africa, the facade of his everyday suit, our struggles to relate to one another, the time surrounding his passing and funeral, and our attempts to understand him after his death.